Kim Beazley, the perfect man for the job

If the job is hurling his party's election prospects into the abyss.

No, I'm not being ungenerous. The man's completely out of his depth. He's existing in some kind of alternate universe. How else can you explain his opening remarks after being (re)elected unopposed to the Captainship of the Titanic?

Fourth paragraph down, nothing of substance yet discussed beyond credit-taking for the Liberal Party's outstanding economic credentials:
We have sharp differences also with this Government on the issue of sustainable development - and that’s exemplified by this Government’s refusal to adopt the Kyoto Protocol.
That's right, on the eve of the Iraqi elections, one of the defining moments of this decade (if not the century) the man wants to bleat about Kyoto.

Education is next, followed by lots of feelgood mumbling about health and children.

The whole speech goes by, no mention of Iraq. Only in question time is the subject broached:
Mr Beazley, is Labor prepared to call for the withdrawal of Australian troops from Iraq after the imminent election?

A couple of things. Firstly, there’s an election going on in Iraq and I wish them well with that election. I think being realistic, it’ll be more successful in some parts of the country than others. I think we need, as Australians, to start making some clear arguments to our American friends.
Our American friends. You wouldn't imagine so much distain could be squeezed successfully into such an otherwise innocuous statement, would you?

But it isn't Kim's scorn I'm worried about. It's his increasingly tenuous hold on reality. He's starting to wander into the Paul McGeough territory of the left:
The clearest argument we have to make to our American friends is this: you must not become involved in a long running civil war in Iraq, full stop. Should you become involved in a long running civil war in Iraq you will undermine the international fight against fundamentalist terror and you will not see yourselves in a position where you can take up the issues of weapons of mass destruction spread wherever else it’s occurring. We have to be very clear cut on that.
Yes, one ought to be clear-cut and forthright about their fits of delusion. Kim, there is no civil war in Iraq, let alone a "long running civil war". Even bloody Robert Fisk has admitted it!

Somebody had better let him down gently. He seems to have rather fondly embraced the fantasy:
So, you just pull out of Iraq and allow it to dissolve into civil war without any support from the coalition?

Understand what I’m saying. You’re going to have to get used to a more complicated debate on Iraq, my friend. I’m saying to the Americans this, and it doesn’t matter what I say, it’s what the Australian Government should say: when this election’s over, don’t get involved in a civil war. Wherever your troops are placed, do not be involved in a civil war in Iraq because if you are you will be massively debilitated. I feel for them on that. It is not the situation that we want to see obtained. The time has come for a bit of maturity in the debate in this country on this issue.
That's right, my friend. When speaking to hysterical multi-election-losing maniacs, expect things to be a little more complicated.
(When would you) withdraw Australian troops, Mr Beazley?

As far as I’m concerned about Australian troops, understand this: we’ve got diplomats there. The diplomats are not where they should be. The diplomats should have been in the green zone by now and the Government should have been pressed persistently by all those with influence in the political process of Australia to get the Australian diplomats into the green zone and the Australian troops who protect them. While there are Australian diplomats in Iraq Australian troops are needed to protect them. But they are not where they should be.

What we should be talking about is not what that commitment is doing, but what the direction of American policy should be and what allied policy should be. And the Americans must not permit themselves - the Australian Government must argue with the Americans - they must not permit themselves to be dragged into a long running civil war.
This scaremongering halfwit was a former defence minister of this nation, and he doesn't know the difference between smoldering ethnic division and the deliberate exchange of firepower.

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